Titillating, seductive, even pornographic in nature, the assault on our media-infused senses is relentless. Every time your favourite program goes on break, it's there and in your face. I'm looking at you, Burger King.
Oh sure, the Angry Whopper commercials were bad enough. Watching a woman flip out over something relatively minor was like nails on the chalkboard of my life. Watch it multiple times in one commercial break, and we're talking near murder-suicide levels of hate. But I realized I never knew hate until I was confronted with the Whopper Virgins ad slots. It took a few viewings for what I was seeing to really sink in, but once it did, the sweet rush of rage filled me with a burning desire for justice.
I refuse to link the video here because to do so will only increase the pervasiveness of the viral campaign, and give BK what they're looking for. Assuming they're telling the truth in the adverts, Burger King sought out "Whopper virgins" - people living in obscurity in Thailand, Finland, Brazil and so on, who have not been embroiled in the latest Pepsi-Coke war between McDonald's and Burger King. These so-called Whopper virgins are invited to a taste test between a Big Mac and a Whopper, and presumably choose the Whopper every time.
I'm having a hard time articulating exactly what pisses me off most about these commercials. Is it the maudlin expressions the Burger King employees have over bringing civilization to these indigenous folks who have never had a burger before? Is it the presumption that civilization can be packaged in burger form? Or that these people have become pawns in some sort of media campaign for something so minor it's barely a blip on the radar of those who do have frequent access to burger shops, let alone for people who have bigger fish to fry with oppressive religious regimes, struggles to uphold sustainable agriculture, poor health care, or lack of educational resources? How about that these people are shown to point and grunt at the burger of their choice? They are not even given a voice.
Here's a message for you, Burger King: THESE ARE PEOPLE. They are not tools for promoting your shoddy-ass merchandise. You are not World Vision, or Oxfam, or anything remotely of worth. You are the tooliest corporate tool that has tooled lately, and you suck. Everytime I suffer a burning desire for a burger, I'll make one at home, and donate what I would have spent in a fast food joint to Heifer.org. If there are problems with first-world feminists and development agencies dictating to developing nations how it is supposed to be, how much worse are you? Burgers =/= civilization. How many shots of people choosing the Big Mac, or neither, or shrugging or puking did you delete? If I were to question studies developed by actual research groups, how much more do I question your methods? Did you even follow ethical research standards? I think you did not.
You're pretty much ranked up there with the Walton family, Curves and Dominoes pizza as evil corporate shills. Big Tabacco ain't got nothing on you guys. Congratu-fucking-lations.
(And now to soothe my rage, here's an adorable puppy:
Comments (3)
If you replace Burgers =/= civilization with burgers!=civilization you may get highly awesome programmer cred (or a dose of unpopularity)
I don't watch TV anymore. Though my senses are well defended against such offenses, I am happier to not be exposed to the insidious gauntlet(s) of commercial breaks.
I have never had a whopper, and I think the term 'whopper virgin' is 'gay' in the early 90's meaning of the word.
Sorry, I don't have a point. But you're right; the whole thing is pretty annoying. And the people behind it probably think that the whole thing is very clever and witty and groundbreaking. Marketers...
Wow, this blog is more contemporary than CoolGuyShow with CoolGuy on CBC. They just did some coverage of this... marketing.
Khadgar.
Look for Dagara or anyone in Drunken Serenity.